quitting. . .what is that?

most of the time, i discover inspiration from things that surround me. i always put myself amidst beautiful things, engulfed and swallowed up in the beauty of natural surroundings, that is why, my favourite spot to paint is this area at my farm, la huerta, where, i am immersed, absorbed, wrapped up in the most vibrant, vivacious, pulsating colours of the crotons that by now serve as natural walls.

some days, however, anger is the fuel that keeps me going.

it was an early monday morning, i set out to do some painting. (my normal routine on a day when i do work, i.e., if staying at the farm and watching its natural growth is work). after several false starts, smearing acrylic on the tiled floors, some of them on my shorts (i don't wear an apron, sorry), and then finding my yellow ochre has been contaminated, i almost threw the tin on somebody, instead i threw it into the trash can. i found myself in tears and swearing and saying awful things to myself. loudly proclaiming i was a charlatan and had no talent whatsoever.

fifteen minutes. that was it. because of all the things i might be. . . a quitter is NOT one of them! so, i marched myself right back to my spot. . .angry at losing it, grabbed my fave brush, daubed and went for it!

some hours later, i made some remarkable progress(this is me, talking) on two projects, oh well, four projects - i am into diptychs nowadays, and i have my confidence back.

life can be difficult at times. i have my share of that. . . sometimes i think maybe more than my share. but i am a stubborn, determined and adamant rural woman. . . and i will NOT be beaten!

nothing. . . not life, and certainly not ART will break me.
nor should it you.